WELCOME TO THE WORLD HEADQUARTERS OF TYLER HANSON
If your browser size is 800 + 600 then you suck INdTV october 2004 RNC HUMOR- 2004 (Quick Time vid) Tyler takes Ann Coulters place at the DNC 2004 DEAN 2004 SXSW and Friendsters F*** March 2004 IRAK Febuary 2003 Peeing in Texas Colorado 2003 mouth of the south 2003 AMERICA Allen Ginsburg January 17, 1956 FROSTY 2002-present (if you don't understand you never will) Hanson your fired 911 Letter To The Landlord 2001
Say I'm working at N.S.A. Somebody puts a code on my desk, something nobody else can break. So I take a shot at it and maybe I break it. And I'm real happy with myself, 'cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East . Once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels were hiding and fifteen hundred people I never had a problem with get killed. (rapid fire) Now the politicians are sayin' "send in the Marines to secure the area" 'cause they don't give a shit. It won't be their kid over there, gettin' shot. Just like it wasn't them when their number got called, 'cause they were pullin' a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some guy from Southie takin' shrapnel in the ass. And he comes home to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got ba ck from. And the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job, 'cause he'll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks. Meanwhile my buddy from Southie realizes the only reason he was over there was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. And of course the oil companies used the skirmish to scare up oil prices so they could turn a qui ck bu ck . A cute, little ancillary benefit for them but it ain't helping my buddy at two-fifty a gallon. And naturally they're takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil ba ck and maybe even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink seven and sevens and play slalom with the icebergs and it ain't too long 'til he hits one, spills the oil, and kills all the sea-life in the North Atlantic . So my buddy's out of work and he can't afford to drive so he's got to walk to the job interviews which su ck s 'cause the shrapnel in his ass is givin' him chronic hemorrhoids. And meanwhile he's starvin' 'cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat the only blue-plate special they're servin' is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State . A beat. WILL (cont'd) So what'd I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. I figure I'll eliminate the middle man. Why not just shoot my buddy, take his job and give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? Christ, I could be elected President.
This is the home of Tyler Hanson, "TYLER HANSON" you might be looking for- Taylor Hanson, Or one of these people who have TYLER in their name Liv perry buffy nikki hamilton bonnie hilton tyler mary tyler moore steven you may be looking for tyler durden of fight club, though I sometimes pretend that I am him. You may also be looking for the university of texas at tyler community college tyler tx tyler newspaper Texas texas junior college tyler morning telegraph tyler texas newspaper tyler state park tyler of the lord of the rings. But all you will find here is just Tyler Hanson. Thank you come again.